Thank You Stacey - I Have a Solution

My very last message on my voice mail from Matt was last September when I was still playing tennis at night.  When I want to hear his voice I just replay it and my heart settles.  Beyond the emotion, it occurs to me that my dear husband was always making sure I was safely on my way home from whatever I was doing.   That night as so many, he said, " Hi Honey, just wondering if you have left the courts?  It's getting kinda late.  Just making sure you are all right.  Call me.  Love you." About a month after Matt went to heaven, I was sitting in my car in the Safeway parking lot at 10:00 at night.  It was raining and it occurred to me, Matt was never going to check on me again. 30 years of being thought of and cared for all of the time.  Since then, I have found myself with the dilemma; who would ever know if I broke down or something happened to me? Hmmm...PROMISING to take care of myself, I have been occasionally telling some one if I am going to be out.  It is certainly not a natural thing to call a friend and say,"Hey, can I check in with you when I get home?"  But, it is necessary.  Tonight, like a beautiful night in September, I found myself walking off the tennis courts with my dear friend Stacey. I was telling her that I had to stop and get gas and then I shared my dilemma.  We talked at length of this adjustment to my life and we came up the solution  that wherever I am, I can just ask someone who I am with if they would mind being my check in person for that night or if I am alone, I will call a friend and ask for a back up person.  This way, I am not burdening one person and I getting help where I need it.

I share this for a two fold reason.  If you or someone else you know is like me, you or they have probably encountered this feeling in one way or another.  If you are a friend or a family member, be bold and bring up the subject to help this person walk down the road of adjusting to a new life.  And.... if you are somewhere, whether alone with a friend or you know someone in a group who is on their own, step out and offer to be the text message on the other side that says,"I'm glad you are home safe and sound."